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FIVE CHARACTERISTICS OF SEVERELY CONFLICTED PARISHES
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1 . High and habitual anxiety and reactivity which overshadows perspective, opportunity, and differentiated thought.
Remedy: Meet enough security needs to allow calm dialogue and thought. Stabilize the patient.
2. Carefully tended list of grievances is held and recited to negotiate future concessions.
Remedy: Acknowledge and air wounds. Apply reality therapy to exaggerations.
3. Enduring personal animosities override all decisions, all deliberations, all impartiality.
Remedy: Slowly renew, dilute, and broaden the leadership base.
4. Blaming and cyclical, unhealthy relationship patterns will be present and gain strength from anger, revenge, stigmatization, "them and us" thinking, and distancing "ain't it awful".
Remedy: Re-state the problems without personal blame. Envision a new future. Don't be vague.
5. Conflict is magnified through indirect communications such as one person speaking for anonymous others.
Remedy: Create a fair forum for direct communication where people speak for themselves, directly to the whole group, and where the open decisions matter.
A helpful book: Peter L. Steinke, How Your Church Family Works, Alban Institute, 1993.
Item X
©1999 Ronald C. Ferris
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